I think I have become like him

I met him few years back

it was love at first sight

we were best of friends and truest of lovers

 

soon after he protected me

not just from the world but from my freedom as well

I thought he did it out of the love for me

I accepted it in no time as I wanted to be his bride to be

 

Soon after I felt isolated

not just from the world but myself as well

what was bringing this change in me?

I thought I was becoming a lot like him

 

Soon after he took charge of my life

what to wear?

what to say?

he would dictate all away

I wasn’t sure if I wanted this forever

I thought I was becoming like him

 

Soon after we fought a lot

pity the issue better we fought

I lost the love for myself

I thought I was becoming like him

 

One fine day when I wouldn’t stand it all

I ran away from everyone

what was I doing?

what was I thinking?

I thought I have become a lot like him

 

he left me midway

maybe forced too

but now I was alone

no place to go

 

I fought with myself

I fought with the situation

not sure of where it would lead me

I thought I was becoming a lot like him

 

I met another man

after long I felt I could love again

he cared for me

he loved me enough

but somewhere at the back of my mind

I was sure I had become like him

 

The constant complaints I had

the constant craving for attention I longed

what was it?

I thought I had become a lot like him

 

One fine day when I thought

we would talk about the future ahead

he laughed at me and said

yes! you have become HIM

not just a lot but….HIM

the constant crying, the complaints, the chatter

wasn’t all jolly anymore

and I was sure I had become him

 

we both have dreams

we both have goals

we are reading a book

although not the same anymore

 

it struck me then

how much both of them affected me

one in a good while one in a bad way

yes I have become a lot like him

 

Don’t want to lose you – I said

not sure if you had me in the first place – he exclaimed

 

I laugh at myself now

how can one destroy or mend the other

either way I loved and lost

whether it was by choice or not

 

now I make merry with the fact

that I have lost myself to become either of them